Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    12

    Default Workers Compensation and Severe Depression

    So maybe I'm hitting rock bottom. I dont know... I'm going to stay anonymous as possible.

    I have a interesting background. I cant list all my injuries as I will no longer be anonymous but they are many including a amputation of one of my limbs.

    So, with that, I came thru all that very well years ago. I was that guy people looked at and said "that guy is such an inspiration" or "if he can do what he does everyday I know I can" etc... I mean I really have always been the "bigger than life" guy... So this has been very hard for me to go thru, hard for me to admit, and damn hard to talk about.

    I was injured at work, I had a bad back injury, required major surgery. Work comp has always paid me, they've never had any opinion other than the injury is obviously legitimate and no disagreements really. (Foot note: the adjuster I have had for the last few months after 3 years is significantly more aggressive i feel but still paying as should) When treatment stalled so to speak I think is when folks around started noticing my down turn in mood. Particularly my better half and best friend. This was about 1.5 years ago. I would say even typing that number is depressing. I cant believe I've set like a freaking stagnant lump on a log on this damn couch for 1.5 years doing almost nothing, sometimes crying when I'm alone, sometimes pondering what if I just checked out, wouldnt it be easier for everyone. Wouldnt she be able to move onto someone more deserving of her, because I really dont deserve her anymore, she knows, and I know, and everyone around us knows. Shes smart, works hard, successful, active, runs 5 miles a day, and beautiful and could have a man who is the same, her choice of them really, I can see them looking at us and thinking "why is she still with him"... Honestly, I think they are right.

    I have no job, I'm on workers comp, they will stop paying me eventually and then what? I mean really what is there to look forward to? In alaska they only offer like 15K in re-training $, I made 120K a year before, so what, even if my doc said I could work, they are gonna train me to make 120K a year with 15K$ for school, I dont think so.

    Anyway, basically I've just finally decided I am infact depressed. Probably in a big way. Not sure why I say "Probably" I know it's major, just still having trouble admitting it. I've never tried to act on anything, but I find myself thinking about it a lot, It would end my pain, it would let her go, no one would have to worry about me any more, etc... I doubt if I would ever act on it, I just really dont think it's the type of person I am. But sometimes I wish I were, probably more for her than anything else. I cant let her go, I love her to much, she wont let me go even though I'm pretty sure she'd like to, but is afraid of how it would affect me if she did.

    So what got me here? I dont know really. I look at my life, I was extremely successful early, had made well over 300K a year a few times and was doing pretty well at time of injury, I look at my life and think "My god, how did I end up here" I mean really, how is this possible that this guy who was so ambitious, and so bigger than life, end up here? sitting on a couch from 8 AM (so she can see I'm up otherwise i'd just stay in bed) to 5pm. Then get up and be doing something when she comes home to look like I have been (Even though the indention in the couch proves the truth)... Then set back down and mope till bed time. She smiles and puts on a happy face, but it's easy to see thru. So I dont know what got me here... It's not just the back injury. It's a lot of things. I hurt all over... I've had so many broken bones, I hurt all over, literally. 24/7...

    I have been seeing a therapist for a couple months to try and get approved for the next work comp operation.He isnt very effective I dont feel. I mean basically he seems hes just trying to fulfill the technical targets for approving the and completing the process and getting me into surgery. I had an IME appointment a while back and he told me "I'd go in there singing jolly songs and happy days so I could get the opp" ... My adjuster sord of is pushing that to. So I did, I told him I was better I acted a good game, firm hand shake, good posture, clean cut and tucked in and I did a good job. I think he bought it.

    Problem is he gave me some forms to fill out. Basically its multiple choice but it's pretty obvious the top answer is "Not depressed" and the Bottom answer to each of the 30 questions is "severe depression" and I fall in the bottom on about 28 out of 30. So the question is, how the hell do I get out of this. Is it possible to get out of it? I cant see how, and I'm not stupid, when I think it thru, I cant see a way out.

    Should I lie and answer them positively so I can get the surgery? I just cant see how it will matter... I dont see a scenario where I ever am a productive member of society again. So whats the point honestly? I'll never be the man i was before, so why not just settle, take Social sec disability and just go off somewhere and count the days for the rest of it watching tv setting on a couch. Let her go and move on...

    I dont know what to do. I just needed somewhere to anomalously put it down in writing.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    467

    Default Re: Hitting Rock Bottom. Depression

    I don't understand what being depressed has to do with you having surgery. I was being treated for major depression when I had a surgery. You need to only dwell on what you can do, make a list of obtainable goals, and see to it that you finish them daily. Getting a grip on depression requires baby steps and there is no quick fix. Obviously your woman loves you, but you are not thinking of her when you are constantly beating yourself up over things you can't control. Think outside the box, work to be the best you, that is possible, and let yourself have a good cry, but not all day, and don't let it define your day. Depression is a mental state, there are drugs that can give you a lot of help, but self pity ain't one, and nope life ain't fair, but if all you got in lemons, then make the best lemonaid you can, because giving up is for quiters.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Hitting Rock Bottom. Depression

    Quote Quoting ladyvol View Post
    I don't understand what being depressed has to do with you having surgery. I was being treated for major depression when I had a surgery. You need to only dwell on what you can do, make a list of obtainable goals, and see to it that you finish them daily. Getting a grip on depression requires baby steps and there is no quick fix. Obviously your woman loves you, but you are not thinking of her when you are constantly beating yourself up over things you can't control. Think outside the box, work to be the best you, that is possible, and let yourself have a good cry, but not all day, and don't let it define your day. Depression is a mental state, there are drugs that can give you a lot of help, but self pity ain't one, and nope life ain't fair, but if all you got in lemons, then make the best lemonaid you can, because giving up is for quiters.

    I guess I need to drill down on what things a contributors to the problem as well. I think part of the problem is it's so complex at least it seems very complex and over whelming. I just am wondering if there is even any point. Not meaning I would do the deed but that maybe I'm just destined to be on Social security the rest of my life (young life staying anonymous but I'm young) ... Maybe it's just best for everyone. I don't know. I mean what do I have to offer really, once I'm healed as best I can be. The list of broken bones and reconstructive surgeries is mile long. I recovered from all that very well including the amputation. I was very young and strong. But after breaking the back and swirling around in work comp land for years. I feel I'm just used up, all those injuries hurt now, two of the reconstructed parts hurt like hell and would likely have to be re addressed surgically. My back still needs an opp. I mean is it really even worth it.

    I'm never gonna be the man she in-visioned when being courted by and deciding to be with him. I'll never be that ultra successful, active, man again. I mean I don't think its possible. That's not self pity really. I think it's just a fact. Is it the right thing to make the "honarble" decision and just let her go. She would so easily find the man she could retire with, travel with, a healthy man who's happy. Isn't it sord of like if I love her so much I should want her to have that?

    The there is the looking with-in. Sure I wish I could continue my career and be that man and make a successful life. But at this point all I can think about is my pain 24/7. It hurts so much. I got Obama care so I could pursue the re-do of the reconstructed parts hurting so bad. But we all know I'm looking at pain for the rest of my life. So I have to try to convince some man (can't do the past job per the docs) who runs a business and try to convince that even though I've been on workers comp for 4 years doing nothing and being depressed that he should hire me. That he should have confidence in me to do a job. Knowing in my mind that there's no way I can perform 100% because I hurt so much.

    I understand your sentiment. That's the type of thing I would tell someone having problems who use to look up to me for how well I did after all the injuries. But honestly I'm not venting self pitty. The questions are real. I'm serious in that maybe it's just time to give up? Accept my life is going to be setting around on disability trying to hurt as little as possible for the next 40 or 50 years.

    I can't ask her to do it with me. But I can't keep up with her either. Not even close.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 1971
    Posts
    4,989

    Default Re: Hitting Rock Bottom. Depression

    It sounds like you have a typical therapist used by the carrier to meet their basic obligations, most of them are inadequate at best.
    You need to get to a therapist that specializes in depression.

    Your problem is you're predicting an unpredictable future, you not a fortune teller or God.
    Don't lock yourself into anything, you have no idea of your pain levels next year, let alone five years from now.
    I've learned to focus on my blessings, not my scourges.
    Someone always has it worse than you - I'm sure there are millions of people in this world that will gladly trade crosses.
    Just imagine being a prisoner of ISIS and facing beheading, imagine living in Nigeria and suffering a slow death from Ebola.

    Whatever you believe the future holds will probably never materialize, your beliefs are based on present conditions that don't apply to the future.
    What you're describing are irrational beliefs - "I'll never get better" "I'll always be in pain" "I'm never gonna be the man she in-visioned" and "I'll never be that ultra successful, active, man again"
    Remove the term "I'll never" from your vocabulary, you're driving your self crazy with it.

    These beliefs can be attacked - they aren't reality based although you may truly believe so, they're called irrational cognitions.
    You need to seek counseling - they have a therapy called CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it's where you attack irrational cognitions or beliefs.
    https://iveronicawalsh.files.wordpre...houldought.pdf

    Trust me, there's nothing you can't overcome - anything's possible.
    You Are a Child Of the Universe.
    Do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
    With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.”
    https://www.goodreads.com/work/quote...916-desiderata

    Call you local health department and ask to see a therapist that specializes in depression, they have some very competent specialists.
    You may be surprised at where your life's at even ten years from now, you'll look back at these days and not even remember what you where thinking, let alone believing.

    Keep Up The Fight!!
    Tony
    Moderator Responses are based on my personal bias, experience and research - They do not represent the views of the admin nor may be accepted in the legal community, always consult an attorney.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Hitting Rock Bottom. Depression

    I'm one to think before I speak on what I think on advice thats a good post, I'm still thinking about it and reading about the therapies mentioned. But a good post for sure...

    So sord of circling back to one of my more immediate issues, is should I lie to the therapist as the IME said and act as if the world is all smiles and lolly pops so I can get the operation sooner than later, or is that doing myself a diss service? wont that lead everyone involved to believe something that isnt true? Would it be better to say "I'm still having severe depression symptoms, but feel I'm more than ready for the opp" and hope he agrees and suggests moving forward but to be continued on therapy thru out?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 1971
    Posts
    4,989

    Default Re: Hitting Rock Bottom. Depression

    dpworker
    should I lie to the therapist as the IME said and act as if the world is all smiles and lolly pops so I can get the operation sooner
    Never lie to anyone during the course of treatment.
    I have no idea of what this quack IME is talking about.
    A therapist has nothing to do with the decision to have surgery, that's strictly the surgeons decision.
    How you feel emotionally has zero to do with a surgeons' decision to perform surgery, that decision is based on medical necessity only - nothing else.
    Sure, I imagine if you where in a suicidal depression and in the nut house, it may delay the surgery for awhile but that doesn't sound like the case in this instance.

    Tony
    Moderator Responses are based on my personal bias, experience and research - They do not represent the views of the admin nor may be accepted in the legal community, always consult an attorney.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    150

    Default Re: Hitting Rock Bottom. Depression

    This is just a guess but if your depression effects how you will do after surgery ie work hard at therapy. They might delay and operation until your outcome has a better chance of success.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 1971
    Posts
    4,989

    Default Re: Hitting Rock Bottom. Depression

    Quote Quoting Skyhigh1 View Post
    This is just a guess but if your depression effects how you will do after surgery ie work hard at therapy. They might delay and operation until your outcome has a better chance of success.
    Again, surgery is based on medical necessity period.
    If they based the decision for surgery on a patients mental state, 90% of all surgeries would be delayed.
    Most people in need of surgery are depressed, you won't find many happy people with cancer, broken bones or wrecked backs.
    The only way it could have an affect is if you where so depressed you loss the ability to function or needed hospitalization.
    Usually a patients mental state improves after surgery if successful, that's just one of the benefits of having surgery.

    Tony
    Moderator Responses are based on my personal bias, experience and research - They do not represent the views of the admin nor may be accepted in the legal community, always consult an attorney.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Hitting Rock Bottom. Depression

    This particular opp does require a successful phsyc exam for anyone getting it prior to the opp no matter if it's work comp or elective. It's weird I know.

    I think I've just given up. Like I cant keep up the facade anymore. I cant put on the show anymore, cant hold up the image of "I'm ok" anymore. I'm exhausted, I mean just freaking exhausted emotionally and physically, and I dont even do anything to be exhausted. I just give up. I hurt all over, pain around the clock.

    I guess I'm still hopeful for change, I did buy obama care to address the pain in the reconstructed joints and bones, so I guess in my mind I still foresee some kind of relief eventually. but honestly I think the main reason did it was the deadline was here and I had no more time to debate it, so i bought it thinking "well i can always drop it later if I decide to or if they cant help me"... I'm just so tired. I'm tense to, tense as hell.

    It's all so complicated, it feels very overwhelming. I just feel like if Im pretty much certain I'll never accomplish much, far from what I was headed for before I destroyed my body, theres no way I'm not going to be disappointed.

    She doesn't get it really, I mean she knows I'm depressed I think. But she doesn't get the pain, I know shes disappointed in me, it's so easy to see, and it cuts like a knife man.

    I guess I need to just get some help, I'm like 4 hours from town, its such a chore to go in, I cant get the motivation usually to do it. I guess I should just go to town and stay and get treated. It's hard to do when you just cant see the point in life anymore. It's hard to even get going. I'm sure yall either know someone who has been there or been there your self and I sound like a big woosie, but it feels so heavy and the pain is so exhausting.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    157

    Default Re: Hitting Rock Bottom. Depression

    I am sorry your in so much both mentally and physically....I would just like to say that your other half is with you because you are worth loving, she sees all the good in you, I know it is hard to find a positive in all this mess and pain, trust me I know, but, know that God put you here on earth for a purpose, he has a plan for you though you do not see it now, you will in time. I don't think many of us will ever be whole again in any capacity and it just plain sucks, if you can, try to find something positive to be happy about, I like to think that a roof over my head is a good thing, food and clothing, every day I am given is wonderful, as hard as it must be and with all the struggles, but I was blessed to be given this day, not many are as lucky to be given that, I know it is hard and we each have our own pains, but I also know that there is someone out there that has it worse than me. Sorry my words may not help or comfort you, but I try to think like this when I am feeling the way you do, it keeps me going and staying strong enough to continue this horrid fight, just know that in the end it will somehow be ok.

Similar Threads

  1. Workers' Comp Claims for Depression
    By ohman in forum New York
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-28-2014, 05:21 PM
  2. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-24-2012, 04:42 PM
  3. Compensation for a Severe Hand Injury
    By fatboy in forum North Carolina
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 05-16-2012, 03:16 PM
  4. Workers Comp With a History of Depression
    By sickntired3 in forum Medical Issues
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-16-2009, 02:05 PM
  5. Workers Comp for Depression and Stress
    By andrewhanley in forum New York
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-20-2005, 12:50 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
 


Find a Lawyer