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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    90

    Default Where'd My Friends and Family Go

    I didn't ask to get hurt at work. I worked and provided for my family, it's what my life was all about... family.
    I guess you can say everyone in the beginning was there for me, emotionally and physically. It didn't take much time before the calls started going unanswered, the phone stops ringing, the "do you need anything" stops, they "hey I was just checking on you".
    etc.
    I got hurt at work, I'm not dead. I didn't ever ask for help or sympathy, abandoned one by one. Do my friends and family think I want them to feel sorry for me? Am I that much of a burden? I know life goes on, but does that mean forget me?
    I feel so alone. This work injury has caused much more pain emotionally than anything. I didn't just lose bodily function, I lost my friends and family.
    I just sit and ask myself, why did I have to get hurt at work, whyyyyyy??!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    587

    Default Re: Where'd My Friends and Family Go

    I hear you!

    Wife went goofy because her husband wasnt the same person....One kid decides its better to act out and the law catches up with them...

    Im left with my daughter who I hear from, sometimes....

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: Where'd My Friends and Family Go

    I so understand. I just seen today that the wife made the dentist's appointment for teeth cleaning...For her alone, I'm not included. Something happened a couple weeks ago and the wife quit talking to me, no matter what, it gets taken out on me, because I seem to be "lazy". I'm guessing that my old life, and everything in it is over, and as soon as I get my settlement, I'm leaving. The problem is, no amount of settlement, no matter how it makes the injured worker feel, will never heal the "hurts" that have been "inflicted" upon family members because we got injured. The best thing I can do now is when I get my settlement is to leave. I'm already making plans and have stuff either being quietly packed up or thrown out. I'm grieving it already, but I can't imagine staying in as poison an atmosphere I'm in now.

    Good luck to you.

    Good luck to us all.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    90

    Default Re: Where'd My Friends and Family Go

    Quote Quoting airdale View Post
    I hear you!

    Wife went goofy because her husband wasnt the same person....One kid decides its better to act out and the law catches up with them...

    Im left with my daughter who I hear from, sometimes....
    Airdale
    The lonely life of us injured workers,,, it's crazy because our injuries didn't ever change who we are, it changed THEM. I mean come on now these are our family and friends, the ones that say they love us, and will be there for us, only for them to change.
    I wish you all the best, I wish us ALL the best

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting hong kong phooey View Post
    I so understand. I just seen today that the wife made the dentist's appointment for teeth cleaning...For her alone, I'm not included. Something happened a couple weeks ago and the wife quit talking to me, no matter what, it gets taken out on me, because I seem to be "lazy". I'm guessing that my old life, and everything in it is over, and as soon as I get my settlement, I'm leaving. The problem is, no amount of settlement, no matter how it makes the injured worker feel, will never heal the "hurts" that have been "inflicted" upon family members because we got injured. The best thing I can do now is when I get my settlement is to leave. I'm already making plans and have stuff either being quietly packed up or thrown out. I'm grieving it already, but I can't imagine staying in as poison an atmosphere I'm in now.

    Good luck to you.

    Good luck to us all.
    Hong Kong Phooey,
    I feel exactly like you, I'm planning in my mind somewhere to go away from everyone too. It sure does hurt to feel abandoned by those who meant the most to you, as we supposedly meant the most to them. It definately creates a poisonous atmosphere I agree. Its like their envious that we can't work and they have too.
    If I had a choice, I'd rather work, I miss working, even more so I miss my family and the happiness we once had.
    One day I will have my life back minus some disability, and when that check comes, no one will have to worry about me being their burden any longer.
    I'm very thankful for this board, there are so many of us going through this. This is my support now, not family, but this WC forum.
    Thank you for participating and sharing your experiences in the thread.
    God bless you, God bless us all.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: Where'd My Friends and Family Go

    Bless you, EC. I'm glad we have this forum, too. We get help from each other and the mods for the problems we may encounter, or to just subconsciously "blow off steam". Up until about a month ago I was planning on taking care of things around the house that needed repaired that we could never afford, and have a party for my family....That was for the "Old" family and me, though. The "New" me is not what I was physically, and my "New" family isn't what it was emotionally. By "New", I mean after the initial support and love was eroded by the never-ending doctor's visits, PT, being looked at as "special" only because the injury happened at work and not "at home" like other family members were......

    I agree about wanting to go back to work. The job I got hurt at was VERY fulfilling to me. I enjoyed my job and everyone there. It was at times demanding, but I enjoyed that. My bosses did, too. Shortly after I got hurt I was asked when I was coming back, because things "weren't getting done". I had to train myself to NOT think about what needed to be done anymore, as I was never going back. No such thing as "light duty" in my job.

    You're right about the "envy". I had posted elsewhere here about people that think you "won the lottery" and want to "buddy up" to you because you "got money". They have no clue that's to live on and for future medical expenses, NOT to blow on a hunting/fishing trip that we, as injured, could never do anyway! It would seem the families would be grateful that the financial burden would be eased a bit, but there's the foolish assumption that now you're "better" because you were given money. THEY should know, better than ANYONE, what kind of hell you've been through being injured, and all the road to recovery, one step at a time. I'm glad some injured people have great families. The ones that get bitter and resentful towards us.....If we're able, it's better to try to start over somewhere else. You'll never go back to your old job, and your family life will never be what it used to be.

    Sad, but true.

    Take care.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I found this, and I'm dealing with this in my life right now.

    Psychological abuse can look like:

    4. Refusing to communicate.
    5. Ignoring or excluding you.
    8. Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice.
    10. Extreme moodiness.
    13. Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.”
    15. Withdrawal of affection.
    17. Making everything your fault.
    19. Using money to control.

    I'm not taking it anymore. I get my money, I'M GONE. I may be alone, but I'll be happy. And I can have a cheeseburger ANY damned time I want, instead of being told "WE CAN'T AFFORD IT!!!"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: Where'd My Friends and Family Go

    ....What REALLY sucks about being disabled is eventually being thought of as "just lazy" and "not wanting to work". Being disabled means you CAN'T do what you used to anymore, and you have NO IDEA how much it takes out of a person emotionaly to be treated like that. Getting mad at the disabled person will NOT "make things better".

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    587

    Default Re: Where'd My Friends and Family Go

    Quote Quoting hong kong phooey View Post
    ....What REALLY sucks about being disabled is eventually being thought of as "just lazy" and "not wanting to work". Being disabled means you CAN'T do what you used to anymore, and you have NO IDEA how much it takes out of a person emotionaly to be treated like that. Getting mad at the disabled person will NOT "make things better".
    Yep....I totally get it.....try not to get angry(ha...I know)and focus it on a plan.....I did...I couldnt be happier and its been a long time...Life aint easy...no driving...just walking and a cheesy bus system.....All I have to due is look back and laugh....it was bad, and i was going to make it worse....not worth it.....Im free now....I wish you whatever you need to make you happy....our pain and symptoms wont change but we can change our environment and help us in the long run...
    Best of luck my friend

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: Where'd My Friends and Family Go

    Quote Quoting airdale View Post
    Yep....I totally get it.....try not to get angry(ha...I know)and focus it on a plan.....I did...I couldnt be happier and its been a long time...Life aint easy...no driving...just walking and a cheesy bus system.....All I have to due is look back and laugh....it was bad, and i was going to make it worse....not worth it.....Im free now....I wish you whatever you need to make you happy....our pain and symptoms wont change but we can change our environment and help us in the long run...
    Best of luck my friend
    Yay, I can get back on the forum! Well, it went from bad to seventh level of hell, told the wife I did'nt want to be abused anymore and I wanted to leave. Son gets involved and starts threatening, cut off my computer from the internet, and even refused to re-connect it after one cop asked him if he would. Cops here three different times and everybody has "left" for a few days.....I'm hoping at some point my wife calms down so we can try to have a rational convertsation about it. She left with my car, but I'm bigger than doing anything stupid at this point. It just sucks because I've been "abandonded" according to the cop, and I have a big old dog that's sick I have to try to take care of. They DID get me a few groceries, I think the cop suggested that, but I'm so tied up in knots I can't eat. Oh, well.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    90

    Default Re: Where'd My Friends and Family Go

    Quote Quoting hong kong phooey View Post
    Yay, I can get back on the forum! Well, it went from bad to seventh level of hell, told the wife I did'nt want to be abused anymore and I wanted to leave. Son gets involved and starts threatening, cut off my computer from the internet, and even refused to re-connect it after one cop asked him if he would. Cops here three different times and everybody has "left" for a few days.....I'm hoping at some point my wife calms down so we can try to have a rational convertsation about it. She left with my car, but I'm bigger than doing anything stupid at this point. It just sucks because I've been "abandonded" according to the cop, and I have a big old dog that's sick I have to try to take care of. They DID get me a few groceries, I think the cop suggested that, but I'm so tied up in knots I can't eat. Oh, well.
    That is horrible, you will be in my prayers. I know the pain of how it hurts when your family gets tired of us injured "needy" workers. The ones that are supposed to "always" be there. Better or worse.
    I hope you get your appetite back, I know how stressed you must be. Maybe it's better they leave and stay gone so you can move on with your life. Funny how "abandoned" will last until you get paid, then watch how helpful everyone will become.

    I guess when you're down and out, you see who's really there. Sad to say most always it's just "you". Stay strong, pray and pray more. God is "Always" there, and you have us all here on the forum. I wish you all the best!
    Smile... God loves you

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: Where'd My Friends and Family Go

    Thanks, EC. I've never been by myself this long in my life so far. Oh, well. Maybe just practice for what life will be when I move on. I was talking with my best friend from high school who is now retired, and his dream of the proverbial "cabin on the lake" never was able to happen because he decided to re-marry, and ended up being caregiver to his elderly parents. Any living relations I have live too far away from me, and my parents are dead, so basically I can start over with a clean slate, no worries about how they are. I hope the others here realize they are'nt alone in thier emotional suffering, we're all in various degrees of it. I have my "ideal", and learning to be alone now will help me be ready to enjoy that more. I'm cutting way back on what I own, I realize, especially after getting hurt, you really don't need all the "stuff" that you thought you did. Happy Holidays.

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